Dear Germany

Dear Germany,

How are ya? you may find strange for me to write you, given our history together. Although it may come pretty straight forward to you, the time has come to talk about something. You have been kicking my ass in my love life for quite some time now and I would like you to stop. The reason why you are doing this to me still eludes me, nevertheless, I came here to offer you a truce.

In case you were wondering what on earth am I talking about (because I understand that you, being a successful country do not keep count of how many appalling victories you cast upon others) allow me to elaborate: you have broken my heart several times, by sending people from your country to this very specific endeavor. If you don't believe me, take a look at my background history with you:

July 2002 - July 2003: I went abroad for my high school senior year to Austria and was constantly bullied by german people just for living in Austria. A cute german guy mocked me. I wanted to date that guy, but he bullied me and I never could.

January 2011- After a year abroad in China, My exboyfriend "Maicol" cheated on me and then later move to Germany with a german girl named Sarah.

November 2014 - My best friend moved in with a german guy named Phillip. This one was not that big of a hard blow, because lucky enough, I like this guy. But still counts for statistic purposes. (He also mocked me for living in Austria in my teenage years).

October 2015 - I met a cute guy from work whom I do not stand a chance with cuz he  is currently dating a super hot girl named Celine, who is from ...YOU GUESSED IT!!! Germany. Besides, I also like her too, so you got me bedazzled with your people Germany, while kicking me in the butt with my luck on love.

and Last but not least,  April 2016 - I met this other cute guy, Alex who we end up breaking up because his exgirlfriend is coming back to the country and he wanted to see her again.
guess from which country is she from: Germany.

So, Germany, I plea to you for your compassion.

I plea to look at my poorly amended heart, and what is left of it, and leave it be, so it can find a decent human being to hang out until I drop dead... or at least, to hook up with that does not later dumps me in exchange of your magnificent people. (or giving me the option to hang around in case he/she changes his mind).

I plea you to also take a look at the picture included,  and enjoy the sight of my crying by the shower in fetal pose,  hoping that this is the trophy you wanted all along.. and can proceed to a different hobby such as breaking someone else's life.

I recognize that you, as a first world country may be less challenged economically and socially than my country (Mexico) but please remember that we can be nice as well...with all our hilarious slang...and our delicious food. Also we have warm summers, and you are always welcome to our beautiful beaches....as long as you don´t steal boyfriends. Come to think about it, maybe that is the reason why you come steal them anyways.

In return of your incredibly compassionate heart, I promise I will buy an Audi one day
and perfectionate my german in the upcoming years. I will also never mock your lederhosen again and will attend at least one Oktoberfest (hoping with every fiber of my being to not run into my exes).

I leave you now with the following quote to reflect upon: “No one has ever become poor by giving.”
― Anne Frank, diary of Anne Frank: the play

Sincerely yours,
Falkirk.

P.S. I know that the Anne Frank quote was a low blow, but bear with me here. Im using all the resources I can. Also, please don't hate me more cuz I'm half french.